Victory

It's been a pretty good week. After sixteen months countless e-mails, phone calls and letters that have gon unanswered and receiving a summary judgement in my small claims court case against my wedding dress designer, I might actually get my money back.

Every few months I do a randome web search to see if I can track down what happened to the designer who vanished into the night. I actually found her name pop up as an admin assistant to someone working in California. I took a shot and sent her an e-mail at this address explaing where I was in the legal process and what my next steps were. One of two things happened: either she had moved away and her (former) husband didn't forward her mail to her or my explanation of how close I was to putting a lien on her property (actually her former husbands, since she was still on the tax records) and effecting her creidt rating scared her into writing me back.

She says she was unaware of the court case until recently and she has just put a check in the mail. I'll see what happens here but I am hopeful. If I get the chack and I'm able to cash it I will let the courts know the judgemnet has been settled and I can put the whole fiasco behind me.

Even more good news, I finally picked up my completed photobook for the boudior photoshoot I had done in early Dember 2011. I am really happy with how the pictures turned out and the full book is a great reminder of the fun I had during the shoot. The book has thirty great photos and I was able to get a few pictures for the web site. Please do me a favor and don't copy these photos, technically they are protected under copyright law and should not be copied. I don't mind you looking at them but please don't copy them.









I am just amazed at how good they turned out. Sure they're airbrushed a little but that's me and I look good, even if I do say so myself. Depending on if there is a wedding in the future, and if its local, I think I would lucky to have this same photographer for the wedding photos.

A Long Time

So I have once again come out of a long hibernation to share some news regarding myself, my dressing, the wedding dress fiasco and the future of the wedding. I apologize to those who had been reading faithfully, I'm sure one post every four or six months won't garner a faithful following but if you are interested please read on.

First lets talk about the wedding dress. The one where my wedding dress designer disappeared without me getting the dress or my money back. I took her to small claims court and just as I suspected she didn't even bother to show up for that. The good news is I did receive a summary judgement against her but without knowing if I can actually contact her, the search continues. The good news is with the Internet I have some clues as to where she might be. One possibility is California. Although, I did do a divorce filing search in Minnesota it doesn't seem like she is divorced and her and her husband still maintain a residence in Minnesota. As much as I don't like the idea of a face to face confrontation at their home, it is not out of the question. I will pursue this some more after the new year.

While the wedding dress/court case has left a bad taste in my mouth I have not lost the desire for my semi annual dress up week. There are couple of events worth mentioning with my dress up week at the beginning of December. Just as I posted in my last blog I had a boudoir photo shoot with a local photographer. It included a professional makeover along with a really fun photo shoot. I am still waiting for the finished product but I did go over the proofs with the photographer and all I can say is WOW! She did a fantastic job and I can hardly wait to share them. So look for a new post sometime in January with some photos from the shoot. These shots were just from my IPhone to post to some Facebook friends.



Yes, I have a couple of Facebook friends who know about my dressing. There were a few of the girls in my burlesque class back in November who wanted to be my Facebook friends. Right from the first class I fessed up that part of burlesque for me was wearing the fun girl clothes and they were fine with that and I'm sure a little curious. Not wanting to mix my friends who know and friends who don't know about my hobby I created a new Facebook account just for my burlesque friends. I have a few of my girl photos out there and I have received nothing but kind words. It's kind of fun having people I have regular interactions with know about the crossdressing side of me and be accepting of it.

Anyways, back to my dress up week. Immediately following the end of my dress up week I was sent to San Antonio for a business trip. Since I was still freshly waxed and didn't have a lot to do after normal work hours I packed a few of my girl things to bring along. Once in San Antonio I sort of got an idea in my head to go out dressed. I have been out in public a little in the past; walking to my car after the photo shoot, going with a friend to a drag show, a walk around the block at night, but nothing by myself that I would consider bold. I did some research on some alternative and LGBT friendly restaurants and found one about twenty minutes away.

I had everything I would need to go out, a semi casual dress, makeup, purse, jewelry, shoes. I just needed the nerve. So after work on a Tuesday, I made it back to my hotel, did my makeup and hair, got dressed and thought about really going out in the world like this. I checked my purse three times to make sure I didn't forget my hotel key and walked out the hotel room door. At any point somebody could walk out of their room and see me dressed in my female clothes. I made it to the stairs, down and out the side door and to my car seeing no one. I drove the twenty minutes to the restaurant and boy did it look busy. I got cold feet and drove around for about twenty more minutes before I decided I would take one more look. There was a spot on the street for parking right in front of the door. I parked and looked in, it still looked busy but it was now or never. Long story short, I bucked up, got out of the car and walked into the restaurant as a girl. There were maybe fifteen people in there. Mostly it was a bar/coffee shop/cafe. I walked up to the bar and asked for a Malbec and the bartender was very friendly, giving me two Malbec options. I also ordered some pasta and found a table to sit down. It was awesome! I was in the real world enjoying dinner, dressed as a girl and the sky didn't fall, there wasn't a riot, it was just me eating dinner out. Pretty much a normal everyday thing. I stayed there for about 90 minutes, enjoying their free wifi with my IPad and keeping track of my favorite basketball team who was playing that night. It was a pretty big step for me.

Lastly I'll write about the future of the wedding. The other day my wife brought it up asking if I had fun on my girl week and did I get enough dressing in and I had. She brought up the wedding asking if I still wanted to do that. My reply was I did but not for a while. I think she still feels bad about delaying it over Halloween 2010. I might have had my dress in hand if we had done it then. Since then, we had to cancel the April wedding because of the dress, etc, etc. It gave us a change to discuss why she wasn't ready back in 2010. She said there was a lot of stress going on right then. Work stress, going to Las Vegas (not her favorite place) so soon after being there for our first wedding, not having met my bridesmaid before or her date, being the center of attention. And to be fair she really hasn't seen me dressed up very much. We're still in the getting comfortable phase, I think. Talking about me wearing women's clothes is different than seeing me dressed in women's clothes with full makeup and everything. Although we have come a long way and she is getting more and more comfortable with it, especially if I make her a nice dinner.

She has suggested going out one night together while I'm dressed, maybe not locally but somewhere LGBT friendly, maybe a weekend trip somewhere. She has also suggested we go to visit my bridesmaid friend at some point. That would eliminate the just meeting someone new while my husband is in a wedding dress stress. One other strange thing she brought up was a new wedding dress designer. Someone inside my circle of friends that doesn't know about my dressing. This is a departure from where I thought she was regarding telling people about my dressing up. I'm still not sure about that but there is time. I also might consider trying to find a dress shop that would be willing to work with me. Although off the rack might not work with my long torso.

So right now the wedding is still in the works, I suggested our five year anniversary which she thought was a good idea. I might look somewhere locally for the wedding, it seems like Las Vegas might be a good place to avoid with so many people around. Who knows, I might be able to invite a few of my burlesque friends to the wedding if its local too. But I know it will be a small ceremony. So right now the countdown is a little over 1200 days away. Ouch! But I've waited this long...

I'm Back

It's been too long since I last blogged and the sting of the wedding being cancelled has started to wear off a bit. In regards to my wedding dress designer it has come to taking her to small claims court. The date has been set by the court and I probably shouldn't comment on it further until its been resolved.

It's been a long spring and summer and I'm starting to feel that familiar itch. For now that means prepping for this upcoming fall dressing season. On a recent trip to Las Vegas, I was able to get in a little prep work. I visited Just You, a transformation salon for some makeup lessons. I learned a little about beard neutralizer and how to cover your existing eyebrows so you can draw in over the top of them. I'm not very good at it yet, but that's why we practice.

Also in Las Vegas I stopped by The Bettie Page Store in Ceasars Palace Forum Shops. They were kind enough to let me try on a couple of dresses in the changing room, which is awesome, by the way. They tend to size things small so it was a big help being able to verify the fit before purchasing. The salse staff was spot on when they sized me up and suggested what would fit me. I ended up buying two dresses, (one shown on the right). That's what great customer service can get you.

Just last week I reconnected with the burlesque academy. I attended a one day seminar on adding humor to a burlesque routine. It was very fun and there were a few girls from last summers classes that were in this class that I had a chance to chat with. I am considering taking another series this fall/winter.

Lastly, the one thing I was really looking forward to was getting some pre-wedding/getting dressed photos as part of the wedding. Along this line of thought, I reached out to a couple of local photographers who provide boudior and wedding shoots. I'm happy to say, I found one who has no issues with shooting a session with me in womens lingerie and their makeup artist has even worked with male to female cosmetics application before. Very exciting. But this won't happen until December.

The style of the photographer, at least in regards to boudoir photos is using the play of shadows and light, more artsy than the previous pin up style photos I have done. I'm looking forward to seeing what she can do with the camera. The following photos are not hers but it gives you a general idea of her style. She does post her own photos on the site but they are watermarked with her company logo. Not that I won't advertise and refer people to her, I just want to do my photos first and hopefully leave a good impression.

Now I need to do some shopping for the shoot. Her words "Spikey and Sassy shoes work best in the photos."

The Sad News

So I'm guessing many of you are curious about the length of time between my last post and now. I think my last post was at the end of 2010, so its been a long time. I could also point out that the wedding is zero days away according to the countdown time but unless I can borrow a time machine...the wedding has been delayed again.

This time it was the wedding dress. In my previous posts I had mentioned my wedding dress designer and her needing to take some personal time off. The plan was to get back together in December or a little later to finish up the dress with a final fitting just before the wedding. My dress maker has gone missing. I have sent e-mails and voice mails but they all go unanswered. I honestly don't know if she is ignoring me, has been abducted by aliens, or has amnesia after a fall down an elevator shaft.

The thing is, the dress was a huge part of the event for me. I don't want to rent something or use an old dress, not that I don't have one but thats not the point. I was all excited about the new dress and everything else about the wedding. Now, I'm just mad about the whole thing. So a couple of weeks ago, after sending an e-mail stating that things would need to be cancelled if I didn't hear from her, I had to start canceling plans.

Right now my main focus is trying to contact the designer. I want my money back. I will go to small claims court if I have to. You just don't do that sort of thing to a bride, who has paid you and is expecting delivery.

The photographer, the makeup people, the ceremony, the hotel all had to be cancelled including some deposits being lost. I hadn't purchased airplane tickets yet, thank goodness. I have to be honest, I'm just not feeling it any more. I have a bad taste in my mouth and I don't want to get married like that. So for now the wedding is on a hiatus.

Sorry to all of the followers of this blog, I know you were excited, I was too. I'll see where things go from here. I know there is an event called Diva Las Vegas that happened last month. I was unable to attend this year but I'm planning on it for next year. I'm sure that will require a whole lot of planning. What do I wear to a golf tournament? And I still want to get married as the bride someday, but its just not going to happen soon.

Busy Holiday Season

It's been about three weeks since my last update and I probably won't have another until next year. I could blame the holidays, just admit that I've been lazy or not having any quality ideas for discussion. The truth is its all of those things so I'll give you a quick update of where we are now in the delayed wedding planning. As a reminder the wedding was originally scheduled for this past Halloween but we rescheduled for later this spring.


First off I wanted to point out his fantastic wintery holiday wedding picture. It's awesome, what a great photo. It almowst makes me want to have a winter weddingin the mountains insted of a spring wedding in the desert. But it does remond me of the 15 inches of snow that recently fell in our fair city.

So on to the wedding planning. We have firmed up the date of the wedding which should be refelcted in the countdown timer on the blog. We are planning on late April/early May with the actual wedding to be on May 1st. This is a little later than I would have prefered but it works out better for a couple of reasons.

My groom and I are baseball fans and this particualr weekend our home team is out of town. Additionally we will be able to see a couple of minor league baseball games as part of the wedding/vacation trip including the Las Vegas 51's who will be playing at home that weekend. Don't get too excited, just because I'm going to be a bride in Vehas doesn't mean I will going to the game as a bride or even dressed as a girl. I like baseball and I like dressing as a girl too, it doesn't mean I am compelled to combine the two activities.

Beyond the basball aspect, we are turning the trip into an actual vacation versus just a long weekend. Sort of a honeymoon of sorts through West. After the wedding we plan on visiting the Grand Canyon and the Grand Escalante area of Utah and finishing up in Salt Lake City where we can see another minor leagues baseball game, the Salt Lake City Bees. We wanted to wait until some of the Grand Canyon stuff was more likely to be available, as in May and the is schedule allows for us to see both minor league teams at home.

After the new year I will start up on confirming makeup, photography, dinner reservations, limo's, Elvis, baseball and show tickets. One of the bigger concerns I have right now is the wedding dress.

Towards the end of October we delayed the wedding. At that time my dress maker also needed to take off some time for personal reasons. She had stated she needed about six weeks and would be in contact after that time. On the seventh week I sent her an e-mail and I have yet to hear back, that was two weeks ago. I have decided to wait until after the new year to see if she is back and available. My worst case scenario mind tells me that once February arrives I will only have three months if I need to find another dress option. I'm sure I'm just being a Nervous Nellie and everything will work out with my original dress maker. The dress is 80% done, we just need to finish things up.

My second concern has to do with the winter and the Holidays and how it is fighting my desire to stay under 200 pounds. My wife and I hosted a Thanksgiving Fest for about 25 friends and we were left with way too much food, especially desserts. In the last few weeks I have jumped up from 194 to 199. And that includes running on the treadmill at our new healthclub two or three times a week. I really need to monitor how much I'm eating, which is hard because desserts are yummy.

So that's where we are in the wedding planning and we'll keep planning on into next year.

Personal Shopper

I had my visit with my personal shopper about ten days ago. Not having anything wedding related to discuss, I think my visit to Nordstroms is as good a topic as anything else.

Previously we had a ten minute phone call discussing my sizes and personal preference. I also had a wish list where I had picked out a number of items that I shared with her. We set up a time to meet the the store so she could show me a few things she had picked out for me. Before I showed up I didn't think I would be trying anything on at the store but she had offered it up as a possibility. So, that day I decided I would bring a bra along, just in case, and I also wore a gaff so as not to have an unsightly buldge if I did try anything on at the store.

After arriving at the store I parked and walked into the store to find the deaprtment where my personal shopper work from. I walked up and asked for her and was directed to a woman nearby who introduced herself as my personal shopper. She took my back to what at first looked like am employees only area or stock room but that opened up into a few rooms that were like any other standard changing room. I just don't think they were advertised as changing rooms.

She brought me back to one of the rooms and there wer several items already picked out for me. A couple of dresses, a few skirts and some tops too. Then she stepped out out of the room to let me change. I asked if I was supposed to try them on and she said yeah if that was OK with me. It was just so matter of fact, I was a little surprised. So she left and I started trying some of the clothes on. The one thing I did notice was the signage stating that the rooms were under surveilance, but I figured what the hell. If she knew, they probably did too.

The first thing I tried on was a black pencil skirt and a white button up blouse, very business casual. She came back a few minutes later and knocked to check on me. I was still wearing the top but had changed skirts. She verified the size of the clothes that he had brought and was pretty happy with the size 12 skirts and the 16W tops she had brought. The one thing that disn't quite work was the fact that I had not yet put on the bra so the "look" wasn't right. She didn't say that but it was what I noticed when I looked in the mirror.

She left again to try and find some more for me to try on. I decided to put the bra on even if there was somebody in surveilance. I took off the top and slipped on my bra before tyring a new top, a zebra print sleeveless blouse. It was actually sort of fun, trying on womens clothes in the dressing room of a department store. It was a surprisingly simple thing.

There was one really cute skirt in grey and white silk that she had me try in a size ten so that it defined my waist a little better. Yeah me, being a size ten. That was awesome. I also asked about finding a fitted white blouse versus the Womens sized clothes. She said we could try an XL in standard misses sizing and it actually worked out so that made me pretty happy too. I tried on some of the dresses and found a fun black dress that fit pretty well. There were a few items that were a little too matronly, real estate business like but for the most part my personal shopper picked out some pretty cute stuff.

I walked out of the store with one black dress, the cute white and grey skirt, the zebra print blouse and a fitted white blouse. The bad part was now I was shopping at Nordstroms and there is price to pay for that. Literally. Those four items were about $650.

After the shopping I went home and tried on my new purchases for my wifes opinion. She didn't like the white top, a little too doily-esque. But she really liked the black dress and was fine with the zebra print top. She also liked the white and grey print skirt but while the size ten fit my waist better it also make the short skirt ride even higher over my knee. I was a little bit iffy on this too and I think I have finally decided to bring the skirt and the white blouse back.

My personal shopper also suggested that they would be able to alter the dress that fit my top well but could use a little taking in at the hips. That will likely be my next adventure. A special thanks to Nordstroms for making this possible. I would heartily endorse anyone making a purchase there. I have also have had good luck ordering off of their website.

So thats my personal shopper adventure. I will need to make another vistit to return a couple of items and work out the alterations. But I seem to have formed a good shopping relationship.

Dress Up Week

Yeah, it's been a little while, OK three weeks. It's been pretty busy for me lately. I had a few songs to learn on the accordion for Halloween as well as recover from my cold and stye. After Halloween was one of my semi annual dress up weeks, which is the actual main topic for this post. One quick side note is I think we have a preliminary date picked for the wedding reschedule. Right now I think it will be on the weekend of April 16th, which is about 160 days away right now. I have updated the countdown timer and I hope this will firm up in the next few weeks. But for now lets focus on my dress up week.


The week started off on a Tuesday, mainly because my nail tech works for a salon that is closed on Sundays and Mondays. Tuesday morning started with a full body wax which, as always, is a painful but worthwhile experience. The guy who does my waxing is very good at his job and also is pretty good at talking the whole time which helps keep your mind off the actual ripping the hair out by the roots part. All said and done I was there for two hours and I even managed to get a picture of one leg waxed and one about to be waxed. I took a quick shower after my waxing to remove the excess wax and after a quick bite for lunch I was off to my mani pedi.


My nail tech had moved salons and this was my first mani pedi at the new location. Tuesday afternoons are pretty slow so aside from a couple of staffers I only encountered one or two customers during my visit. The pedicure was very relaxing and there was a brand new massaging chair to sit in while my toes were done. We picked a fun shade of red to paint my toes. For my fingers my nail tech had a new product that she wanted to show me so we gave that try this time around. Its similar to a gel nail extension but is not strong enough to actually lengthen the nail, it hardens on top of the existing nail with the color baked into the process. The benefit being the color wont scrape or chip, its on there until you choose to remove it. The nice thing is that you can easily remove the product rather than having to file them off, which I usually have done at the salon. A 15 minute soak in pure acetone and you can scrape the product off easily at home. I am debating about this product for the wedding. It has the pro of being able to remove it myself but I do like the length that gel extensions provide. I could grow my own nails out but then I could just do that and paint them too rather than the color and hardening process. We'll see how that comes together in April.

One of the larger things I am trying to come to terms with is being more open with my dressing. Since I will be walking around Las Vegas dressed as a bride and planning on going out to dinner after the wedding dressed I am working at being comfortable out in the real world. I've said it before and I'll say it again. I have no plans or desire to transition to full time but I also don't just want to hide in my house whenever I dress. So last winter I made a trip outside to the Smitten Kitten in the hip/trendy/alternative neighborhood in Minneapolis, I also had the opportunity to attend burlesque classes and appear in a recital this past summer. In keeping up with my going out and about I took a day this week as well to experience the real world while dressed.

In the same part of town there is a new age massage/colonic/holistic health clinic I picked out. I made an appointment online and made mention in the notes that I would like to arrive while dressed if that wasn't an issue.
The night before my appointment they replied saying that would not be a problem and I decided I would give it a try. That morning I moved my car from our parking ramp into the back lot near our condo. I'm not sure I want to be outed in the condo so this would make getting to the car easier. I spent the morning getting dressed, made up and putting together a purse. I wore my new gray sweater dress which worked out pretty well for the 50 degree temperature. I was also able to test out my new steel gray low heels I plan to wear to dinner after the wedding. I made it to my car without any issues and drove to the clinic. I walked in and the woman didn't give me a second glance as she let me prepare for the massage. It was very relaxing with nature sounds in the background. After the session was over I was allowed to re-dress and even received a hug from the therapist afterward.

I was so pleased with how it went I decided to drive by the local Victoria's Secret. In the Uptown area the VS is a standalone store, not in the middle of a suburban mall. So I would be able to drive up, park and walk right in. I drove past and couldn't find a close parking spot which bummed me out a little bit as well as feeling a little bit relieved. I hadn't planned this or warned anyone at the store so I had no idea how I would be received.
I decided to try a once around the block to see if parking freed up and wouldn't you know it, there was a spot about 50 yards down the road that opened up. I pulled in and decided its now or never. I pulled out a few coins for the parking meter and stepped out onto a busy road, in the middle of the day, wearing my gray sweater dress. I passed a few people and didn't see any negative reactions then quickly turned into the store. I was met by a cute young woman who asked if I needed any help and she helped my look for some panties. She was very professional and even had to go back to the stock room to check on a size I couldn't find. I strolled around shopping while she was away and I didn't have any issues. I have been in VS many times dressed as a male and was more nervous than I was this time around. I know I don't pass, my ID has my male name, but I was calm and confident the whole time. It was awesome. I walked back to pay for my purchase and went through the process with two girls at the register, we chatted a bit as I paid and I walked out with my purchase. A big Thank You to Victoria's Secret and their staff for being so great while I was there.

Another part of the week always includes taking some pictures. I have found that the 20 pounds I have lost really effect the fit of some of my old clothes. I have attached some of the pics below and I'm pleasantly surprised at how they came out, I really like my body shape at my current weight. Now that daylight savings is in place and that we just had out first snowfall, I'm concerned about putting some of the weigh back on. My wife and I just joined a health club and we need to go 12 times a month in order to get our health insurance discount. I'm hoping that will help me keep me at my current fitness level. The problem now is I don't have a lot of clothes that fit me right any more. Oh no, now I have to shop for clothes.

One of the last things I did during my dress up week was contacting Nordstrom's. They have a personal shopper service that I thought might be able to help me find some clothes that fit me as well as helping my questionable fashion sense. I sent off an e-mail explaining my situation, and that I didn't need to show up dressed or try anything on in the store. I was pleased when I received a reply saying that wouldn't be an issue and someone from the local store would be contacting me soon. I chatted with the personal shopper on the phone last weekend and we are scheduled to meet at the store this Wednesday. I gave her an idea of what I am looking for and hopefully with her knowledge of the clothes available and my size concerns she will be able to find some nice clothes for me. She even thinks I might be able to try some stuff on in the store, which I don't really need to do but it might be more convenient. I did buy a dress there online for Vegas but now I'm just looking for something cute to wear.

I can't tell you how happy I am with the acceptance from multiple retail stores being accepting of my dressing. It's a great sign for the future that more people are OK with it. I also heard rave reviews of my pictures from my bridesmaid and it sounds like she is still in for the April wedding. My wife was also very accepting and helped me fix a wrap around dress I was trying to get to fit right as well as being cool with my dressing week. I gave her some time off from my girlie week when we would go out to dinner or a show while dressed as my boy self and she was fine with me wearing my nighties to bed and spending the day dressed up. All said and done it was a very comfortable, relaxing and growing experience.

I'll try to stay back on track with the every other week posts for while until the wedding is firmed up and we start getting closer to the big day.


My Burlesque Costume


My New Leopard Print Nightie


My Business Casual Look


My Wedding Day Corset and Other Lingerie Items